Our Story

Hi! My name is Lauren Stockmon Brown, and I am the founder of the My Colorful Nana Project (MCN).

MCN is inspired by my experience growing up as a Black American girl in white suburbia. As a child, I felt a sense of inadequacy that stemmed from the darker tone of my skin color and the kinkier texture of my hair. When I was 13 years old, a friend of mine turned to me in the girl’s locker room, held her pointer and middle finger in the shape of a scissor as she began to inch closer to the top of my scalp. She squinted her eyes, laughed, and said, “I really want to cut all of your hair off.” I was embarrassed and confused. At the time, my hair was badly damaged by the perm that straightened my natural hair, so I assumed her urge to cut my hair off was justifiable. While growing up, I felt extremely lonely because my friends did not know that every day when I would get ready for school, I chose to straighten my hair because all I truly wanted was to look like them.

Artist Statement:

MCN is a podcast and a team of “Generous Thinkers” who explore the complexity of identity. We organize workshops which work to expand upon and celebrate the words “Beauty” and “Blackness” as we study the ways in which art and community serve as productive tactics of emotional relief. This podcast is a cathartic space that compliments my studies because it uses my research in racial theory and performance studies as well as my creative exploration in audio editing as a tool to elevate certain voices in and outside of an academic space. 

As a selected participant for NYU 2019 and 2020 Black History Month Arts Festival, I organized a presentation that encompassed a showing of this podcast as a solo piece followed by a panel discussion. In this presentation, I explained my former fascination with blonde locks, blue and green eyes, slender hips and what seemed like a more pleasurable lifestyle. I discussed the extensive process of growing curious, and beginning to wonder why my white friends always wanted to touch my hair? Why were they always asking me questions about my skin color? And why did I subconsciously want to be white?

During my experience at NYU, I slowly leaned into the discomfort I felt about my hair and myself once I began to understand the historical and modern ties of postcolonial theory and Black beauty that I had no knowledge of previously. Before I created the My Colorful Nana Project in an Oral History course with Oral Historian, Judith Sloan, (MA) I remember visiting my Nana and digging through her old boxes as I stumbled upon a wrinkled and stained photograph from 1963. In this photo, my Nana was around my age. She sported a crisply cut, yet wonderfully curly-headed afro. I stared at her collection of kinks that looked like mine, and I gradually found myself wanting to look like my Nana this time. 

Description of the Work:

My Nana and I began to exchange stories about the difficulties we have with our hair. We laughed and then grew sad as it became clear that a Black woman's struggle with her hair is still a reality for most today. As an artist and academic, my creative interests will create space for each “Generous Thinker” to unpack the difficulties of beauty and aesthetics for people of all colors, shapes, and sizes. My knowledge of racial theory and performance studies bridged a gap between the questions I had as a child. Today, my research interests in this field are rapidly expanding and I believe a continuation of this project as a doctoral candidate will generate the most growth.

In February 2022, I will begin my 5-month tenure as a Fulbright Scholar in Senegal. I will explore, deepen, and build upon my existing research and interests in cultural identity, the Black Diaspora, and language analysis. 

. . . . .

Exciting life update! 

In the fall of 2022, I will begin my academic career as a PhD candidate in Columbia University's Theatre and Performance Studies, English Comparative Literature Department. Here, I will continue My Colorful Nana as the launch pad for my studies on how selfhood is performed and embodied. I remain truly grateful for this opportunity, and I'm very much looking forward to experiencing this next chapter... Stay tuned! 

. . . . .