Blog #10

These last few weeks, my childhood friend, Rebecca Ozer (Nickname: Bdozer) visited me in Senegal and it was an unreal experience to have a little piece of home with me here.... 

Since living abroad, it's been easy to lose track of time. It can often either feel like time is going too slowly or time is moving too quickly... In many ways, I've had to re-adjust my relationship to "time" as I continue to throw myself into uncomfortable spaces, new relationships and awkward moments sprinkled in with culture shock, language barriers and every-day decisions (lmao). 

Particularly throughout these last few weeks, it was truly grounding to look over and smile at my friend who has known many different sides of who I am and who I would like to become. I will forever remember laughing together at how simultaneously unsettling and comforting it can feel to watch each other change and grow.

Our moments together reminded me of this version of myself, someone who often felt "confused" about various aspects of themselves and someone who I think would be proud of the work we're doing today, studying and sharing spaces that bring out the most intimate aspects of ourselves in a way that hopefully feels-- freeing.

Bienvenue au Sénégal, Bdozer <3 

Season 4 Epi 2 of MCN coming soon :).

  -LSB✨

Last week, I interviewed Dr. Korka Sall (PhD) for MCN S4 Epi 3— Listening to the way Dr. Sall is enthralled by her work was absolutely exhilarating. Dr. Sall's research focuses on "Negritude Feminisms: Francophone Black Women Writers and Activists in France, Martinique and Senegal from the 1920s to 1980s.... [Her work] reframes debates about the participation and conversation of francophone women writers in the Negritude movement."  

I deeply resonate with Dr. Korka's calculated choice to centralize aspects of "humanness" when working to understand concepts like "Pan-African Solidarity," "Double Consciousness" and identity formation. Her unwavering belief in discipline and consistency in and outside of the classroom as a child and now, as a Doctorate is inspiring. Intriguingly, Dr. Korka opened my eyes to the ways in which Black hair is a tool to understand the significance of Pan-Africanism... (Will take a deeper dive into this topic in due time 📚:))….   

Even after all of these years, (at times) I can doubt the relevance of this topic (Black hair), and then I meet someone as exuberant as Dr. Korka and her genuine belief in health & healing pushes me to reconsider my own understanding of "self worth" & identity construction.   

Throughout this conversation, I gradually realized how imperative it is for individuals to be able to confidently refer to multiple pools of cultural frameworks.... There is beauty in choosing to shield aspects of our identity, and growth in choosing to open our mind to other modes of thinking & feeling. Similar to language analysis, studying the history of “Black hair” is a tool that can help us sit with the complexities of existing. 

 Season 4 Epi 3 of MCN coming soon :) very excited to share it with you ♥️  

More 'nerding out' Materials (referring to multiple cultural frameworks & "stories"):  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D9Ihs241zeg  "Our lives, our cultures, are composed of many overlapping stories. Novelist Chimamanda Adichie tells the story of how she found her authentic cultural voice -- and warns that if we hear only a single story about another person or country, we risk a critical misunderstanding."  

  -LSB✨

Month 3 :)  

Someone asked me what I would miss most about Senegal when I leave— It took me a minute to gather my thoughts because I will miss several aspects of Senegalese culture.... I will miss the slow pace of living and the mindfulness that people seem to prioritize in their day to day. But I know (for sure) what I will miss most—   

I will miss seeing Black people just existing… In comparison to my experience growing up in the US as an African American person, [here] there seems to be less of an urge to fight tooth and nail to fit into “something,” nor fighting to the point of exhaustion to be “seen” or pushing back on “something.” 

There’s a centeredness that comes with acceptance, and I’m beyond grateful to experience even just a taste of this way of living. I hope to stay intentionally present as I continue to teach English classes and laugh with my students as we find hilarious moments that cross all cultural bounds. I will continue to get lost in my thoughts while listening to podcasts on my morning walks, and I will soak in the moment as I sit quietly and watch the traffic go by.  

I will miss being this physically close to the peace that comes with stillness most.   

New episode of MCN featuring Dr. Korka Sall (PhD): "Believe in Your Natural Power," out now :) 🖤

Link: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dr-korka-sall-phd-believe-in-your-natural-power/id1491996913?i=1000559265635

Favorite Quote: "If you always hesitate about who you are then it will be hard for you to find the ground…. You need to be grounded first to know who you are, what you want, and why you want it.”   

Thank you for reading and holding these thoughts… More soon 🙏🏾♥️! 

  -LSB✨

Last week was a lovely week as each day flew by quicker than the last....  It was another reminder that my relationship to time has continued to shift & change since living abroad. Thankfully, writing these blog posts and taking moments to throw myself into my poetry has grounded me in ways that I'm very grateful to share on MCN. 

. . . . . 

Poem: My Little Balcony

 “Gradually [they] started to realize that it is normal to simultaneously experience conflicting feelings or thoughts, which gave [them] more confidence to face the task ahead…..”  

-Bessel van der Kolk    

You stare at me on my balcony,  

Sipping coffee.  

I watch you on the side of the street,  

Rubbing dust on your cheeks.  

It makes me uncomfortable,  

Guilty even.   

All I wanted to do was enjoy my coffee.  

You keep staring.   

I wonder what you’re thinking.   

I wonder who you think I am.   

I wonder if I am an intruder in your mind.   

I get scared of the off-chance that you don’t like me. 

I get scared at the off-chance that then I won’t like myself.  

I consider offering you some coffee–

And, quickly remember that that doesn't make sense. 

That wouldn’t make sense.  

A few minutes pass, and 

I watch you get up to beg for money.   

You look up and steal glances at my little balcony.  

The guilt rushes back to my insides.   

So, I take a sip of coffee, 

“Ahh,” a light morning release. 

 Normalcy perhaps. 

But, not actually.  

If I go inside, I’ll know that you’re still there.  

I’ve seen someone like you every day since living here.   

Sometimes I give money, sometimes I don’t. 

Sometimes you follow me, sometimes you don’t.  

Sometimes we stare at one another 

Wondering who we are–

Perhaps equally as frustrated that  

We’re acting as invaders 

In each other’s  

Homes.   

Quietly, you stand.  

You get up, 

You walk away, 

Then leave. 

And, finally I can finish my coffee.  

And, try to sit comfortably in your 

Home. 

. . . . . 

Thank you for reading some of my thoughts & feelings. I certainly plan to process these experiences further, but in the meantime, I hope to gently hold & share bits of these moments with you ♥️!  

New episode of MCN featuring Dr. Korka Sall (PhD): "Believe in Your Natural Power," out now :) 🖤

Link: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dr-korka-sall-phd-believe-in-your-natural-power/id1491996913?i=1000559265635

  -LSB✨

In this life, "there are certain [things] that are unexplainable and it’s a very American concept to search for answers for everything... How can we increase our acceptance of circumstances [while simultaneously acknowledging] the limits of human knowledge and understanding?”   - Modern Love Podcast Episode (263 ♥️)  . . . . .   

Honestly, last week was a tough one for me. I was dealing with a very fun case of ‘travelers stomach bug’ and a slight headache while traveling. After a few days, my symptoms did not subside, so I decided to try and change my ticket back home (to Dakar) to an earlier date.   

At the airport, I was able to talk to some of the community in Casamance. In hindsight, I could tell how frustrated they were with my lack of patience and perhaps overbearing need to know things like, “what time *exactly* is the next plane coming?”…. We ended up laughing together at our different cultural expectations and spent a good portion of time sharing stories about "patience," "urgency." and the concept of "home."   

This was a moment that tested pretty much every cell of my physical and mental comfort, however, I remain incredibly grateful for the ability to discover one’s “humanness” when you choose to listen and accept that you have to wait.

  . . . . .   

Latest episode of MCN featuring Dr. Korka Sall (PhD): "Believe in Your Natural Power," out now :) 🖤  Link: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dr-korka-sall-phd-believe-in-your-natural-power/id1491996913?i=1000559265635. More soon!  

 -LSB✨

"Black hair is the root of Pan-Africanism." -Dr. Korka Sall (PhD)    

Art 🎨 by Calvin Clausell Jr.   

This week, I've spent a lot of time thinking about the quote above from Dr. Korka Sall (MCN: Epi 3, S4)...  Pan-Africanism is defined as "the principle or advocacy of the political union of all the indigenous inhabitants of Africa." I've spent the last few years studying the transformative impact of "Black hair," and through various forms of research like linguistic & creative expression, I'm constantly in search of finding new ways of studying a topic that can at first seem "myopic."     

During the interview, I told Dr. Korka Sall that I'm at times, "scared" of doing this work (in an emotional and intellectual sense). Slowly, she looked at me and gently said, "that's okay. But remember the WHY... Why you're doing this work...." When Dr. Korka referred to "Black hair” as the root of Pan-Africanism," many concepts in my mind began to *click* as the ability to use linguistic & “creative expression as tools to understand the historical significance of identity formation began to crystalize.    

After our conversation, Dr. Korka encouraged me to pitch MCN to the West African Research Center (WARC: Based in Dakar, Senegal 🇸🇳) for a future presentation. Excitedly, we recently learned that the event will officially take place in June 2022! Together, we will lead a conversation during their Public Lecture Series highlighting how MCN's most recent podcast interviews with Dr. Mamadou Bodian (PhD), Alioune Sene and Dr. Korka Sall (PhD), have nurtured my understanding of Pan-Africanism, Cultural Representation and "Generous Thinking.” I am over the moon and grateful to be planning for the first in-person MCN Event in 2 yrs. More soon 🙏🏾♥️!     . . . . .    

 -LSB✨

Month 4 ✅  

"Think globally. Act locally."  -Dr. Korka Sall (PhD) 🌍   

^ Another one of my favorite quotes from MCN: Epi 3, S4, "Believe in Your Natural Power."   

I am moving into my last month living abroad, and I'm exploring "how to" build lasting systems of thinking that can help improve my general understanding of self-expression, particularly in relation to the concept of Pan-Africanism. A key action that has inspired me to continue "thinking globally and acting locally," in a consistent & reflective sense is my writing.   

My hope is that writing these [semi-lengthy ;)] blog posts, sharing sporadic poetry and now, a short story entitled, "People Are Like Waves" will create more opportunities for me and those who feel connected to  MCN to imagine what it would mean to "Think globally. Act locally."   

Recently, I heard a quote that said, "Data is *only* based on what has happened in the past" (Author: James Clear). While living in Dakar, I'm slowly learning how to carefully accept the power of imagining "possible futures." Possible futures that we can consider on a global-scale and simultaneously implement in our day-to-day lives... "Bite-size" moments of hopeful reflection & potential impact, perhaps.  

*NEW: This week, I'm nervous & excited to share a short story I wrote about Identity Formation & Spirituality via the link below and an audio-reading/recording available on Apple Podcasts. I hope you enjoy it and as always, I would love to hear anyone's thoughts if you'd like to at one point dive in together! ....(I'm not the best at answering texts etc. BUT I have absolutely loved engaging with everyone who has reached out thus far.... Thank you for believing in this work).  

Link (written version): https://mycolorfulnana.com/writing  

Link (audio version): https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/people-are-like-waves-short-story-audio-version/id1491996913?i=1000564514348

More soon 🙏🏾♥️!     . . . . .       

 -LSB✨

Hello everyone! Saying goodbye (for now :)) to Senegal is a bittersweet experience for me… My time living in Dakar is coming to a close as I only have ~3 weeks left here and then I will be onto the next chapter for MCN in NYC (....stay tuned :)). For my last few weeks, I will be finishing up my post as an English teacher and prepping for our event/presentation at the West African Research Center: "Black Hair Is The Root of Pan-Africanism.”  

I've thoroughly enjoyed falling in love with slow moments and the niceties of living in Dakar. I will miss everything from the smell of the clementines to the (unfamiliar) reliability of 'every-day' sunshine. I will forever take this energy & the time I've had to process the overall experience as a true blessing as I'm grateful to share more of my thoughts & feelings with you all via MCN below. I hope that you enjoy <3   

More soon!

• • • • • • • •

“Trauma confronts us with our fragility and with man’s inhumanity to man but also with our extraordinary resilience.”  

-Bessel Van Der Kolk (MD)   

I love how clean my favorite taxi driver keeps his car.  

He rubs dust out of the crevices 

With his fingertips, 

Of course.   

It’s extraordinary.   

He simultaneously drives,  

And wipes the dashboard  

With a rag sitting in the front seat.   

He darts his eyes  

Left and right–

Peaks in the coverboard  

Wipes away the grime, 

And then repeat.   

It’s extraordinary.    

Diligent with his time.   

Conscious of the “unnecessary.”  

Creating meaning in cleanliness,   

And finding joy in its  

Fragility.    

I love how clean my favorite taxi driver keeps his car…  

It 

gives  

me  

Faith,   

In 

humanity.   

A visual representation 

Of resilience,  

In the simplest of ways.   

A tiny feeling  

Of significance,  

In an ‘every-day’  

                 Kind–of–way.   

A preventative touch  

Potentially reflective   

Of his experience,  

Waking up,   

Day-to-day.   

I think that consistency  

Is what makes someone’s life 

Extraordinary.  

I think that,  

Fragility helps us   

Find intention in  

Our everyday–   

I love how clean my favorite taxi driver keeps his car.  

He peaks in the coverboard,   

Wipes away the grime, 

And then,  

Repeat….    

It’s extraordinary.    

 -LSB✨

I have about 2 weeks left living in Senegal, and I’m truly not sure if I’m ready to leave my life here 😤😁…  I’m incredibly grateful that my family is visiting, and I love feeling the parts of me that the people I love spark in a creative & emotional sense. Pictured to the right is me and my cousin–– Jinjer–– dancing together at around 5 years old, and the picture above is us in Senegal (now) at 24 years old AND this experience once again feels absolutely surreal.    

I will be spending the next few days nervously/excitedly prepping for our MCN event which I hope you can come to if you’re currently living in Dakar and are available! (More info below for those who may also want to attend via zoom :)) I remain incredibly grateful for everyone’s care & support as I’m truly thrilled to share MCN’s first “creative/experimental” discussion abroad). 🇸🇳   

Topic: "Black Hair Is The Root of Pan-Africanism," My Colorful Nana (Talk in English)  Date & Time: Thursday, June 16th at 3:00pm  “Summary: This presentation about Back Hair & Pan-Africanism is led by Dr. Korka Sall (PhD) and Lauren Stockmon Brown (Current Fulbright ETA) and incoming PhD candidate. Together, we will discuss how art & community have strengthened and complicated our understanding of language analysis in relation to identity formation.”  

“My Colorful Nana is a community engagement platform that has published recent podcast interviews that have nurtured our understanding of cultural representation and “generous thinking.” Our goal is to uncover the concept of Black hair as a form of Pan-Africanism and highlight the importance of “linguistic expression” as a tool to understand complex topics such as identity formation.” 

-WARC (West African Research Center)   

📍Rue E x Léon G. Damas, Fann Résidence, Face Agence Autonome des Transports Routiers, DHL, CSE) 

For our community in the states :), please find a zoom link below if you’re interested in sharing space ♥️—   

6/16  

3PM Dakar 

11AM NYC 

8AM LA  

Zoom Link: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/82736677449?pwd=NUVRcEk3eXhENmZsSGdDcUZ0dEpKdz09

 -LSB✨

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tj8KD6wS9ls 

Last Thursday was one of my favorite days here, I am infinitely grateful for this community in Dakar and I am truly blessed with the amount of support the Fulbright community and the West African Research Center has shown My Colorful Nana. 

HUGE thank you to Dr. Korka Sall (PhD) for believing in this work and Amani TV for capturing the moment. If you'd like to watch the "experimental  conference" with art by Jani Cash & storytelling form our Generous Thinkers in the audience, please feel free to check out the link above. I can't wait to find more ways to share space with you soon :)!

Recap:

Topic: Black Hair Is The Root of Pan-Africanism," My Colorful Nana (Talk in English)  Date & Time:

Summary: This presentation about Back Hair & Pan-Africanism is led by Dr. Korka Sall (PhD) and Lauren Stockmon Brown (Current Fulbright ETA) and incoming PhD candidate. Together, we will discuss how art & community have strengthened and complicated our understanding of language analysis in relation to identity formation..... My Colorful Nana is a community engagement platform that has published recent podcast interviews that have nurtured our understanding of cultural representation and “generous thinking.” Our goal is to uncover the concept of Black hair as a form of Pan-Africanism and highlight the importance of “linguistic expression” as a tool to understand complex topics such as identity formation. 

 -LSB✨